Halloween Whoring

Halloween: A time for whoring

 

Halloween is a night when even the most conservative broads go out with plans to live out their prostitution fantasies.

How many innocent girls do you know – teachers, pharmacists, librarians – who transform themselves into lingerie clad playmates? Witches, devils, cops – the costume doesn’t matter, in their heads they’re a whore for Halloween. Even (supposedly) upstanding young women see it as a time of year where bad decisions are almost acceptable, in fact, expected. I brought on a Wingwoman this week, to provide us a female perspective on this creepin’ holiday.

“Halloween has turned into an excuse for girls to dress and act like trash and get away with it,” said 24-year-old Scranton resident Mary Steppacher. “Not that I’m completely against it, or a hypocrite. If you got it flaunt it, but if not please for the love of God be a ghost, throw on a sheet and get shitty!”

 

   Pick a costume that will start a convo.

The first step toward getting laid is always initiating contact, so the role you’re playing should make the ladies inquire about your costume, compliment you and want to get a picture. I’ll be alternating ensembles throughout the night so I could have public displays of horniness with multiple girls in the same club.

“Girls like funny costumes definitely, but not cheesy,” Mary said. “Costumes that bring attention, but not in a bad way.”

  

   Treat her like a coworker, not a stripper.

   As scantily clad vixens gyrate as if they’re working for tips, they obviously want you to eye their breasts, asses and legs. Don’t do it. It gives them control. Make solid eye contact as they stand before you in their stripper-wear, scouring the room for a greased up pole. You want to talk the same way you would if they were standing on the street sporting jeans, or a business suit.

“Look her in the eye, have a normal conversation and then subtly compliment her saying something like, ‘I like your costume, you play the part well, but with class,’” Mary said. “Even if she really doesn’t, it’s a sure way to get her in the sack.”

  

   Make fun of others as a means of creepin’.

When nasty ass behemoths roam the range, busting open the strained seams of their safety-pin-fastened costumes, it could make for fantastic flirting fodder. I’ve often bonded with babes as we laughed at the sloppy spectacles in the room. It was like therapy. There’ve even been situations where a floozy in the most whorish attire and I connected as we spoke of how slutty someone else in the room was dressed.

“Make sure they don’t know each other first,” Mary warned. “You have to get a read on the girl. If she throws a dirty look, or initiates the name calling definitely (go for it).”

  

  Don’t ignore the girls who are dressed only moderately scandalous, or even conservative.

These high-class hos are often the most naturally beautiful women in the room so they refuse to tarnish their reputation by competing against a gaggle of common trollops.

   Look for “The Wingman Chronicles” hitting book stores in next year!