The Wingman’s Guide to Sorostitution

The fall creepin’ semester is upon us and many clumsy virgins are walking around college campuses with perennial hard-ons in hopes that they’ll pop their first cherry or touch their first tit.

Think of the cash your parents are laying down for your “education” as an unlimited account to the Bunny Ranch. If you have trouble charming chicks, that means it’s time for a little sorostitution. You won’t have to worry about cockblocking yourself with meaningless chit-chat in the presence of sorority girls. They’re usually too wasted to require any sort of legitimate connection.

Let’s face it, it’s not unlikely for a sloppy sorostitute to drool over the guy who does the longest keg stand, or is a champion at beer pong. While in the real world of creepin’ those amazing feats won’t get you quite as far.

I find the easiest way to maneuver a sorority house hookup is to play the “Big” and the “Little” against each other. In a sorority a veteran member will take a new pledge on as her “Little Sister”… Like real life sisters, they’re immensely jealous of each other. Pick which sister you’re less attracted to, get her flirting with you, and the other sister will work to outdo her and it’ll go back and forth and if you’re lucky you’ll hook up with the Big and the Little, maybe even at the same time. Everybody wins.

Let’s break down some of the different types of sorostitutes.

THE PLEDGE: Girls in the rush process are often encouraged to hook up with the most pathetic guy as part of their hazing. Find out how much of an evil, twisted tyrant the pledge master is. The crazier they are, the more action you’ll see from an impressionable young rush.

THE WILD PARTY GIRL: It’s like spin the bottle, she could land anywhere.

THE UGLY SISTER: All sororities invite a few less attractive girls to pledge in order to make the hotties feel better about themselves. The Ugly Sister will be available and vulnerable. Aim for a sorority that’s so hot that the Ugly Sister is still pulling a six or seven rating.

THE SHY GIRL THAT GETS CRAZY: Quiet ones always have a dark side, get to know it.

THE GIRL TRYING TO KEEP UP WITH HER SISTERS: She’s so desperate and attention starved, you could get her to do anything. For you virgins, a first lay should be a lock. For more experienced players, use them to experience the off-the wall shit the girls you bring home to mother won’t give you.

THE MADAM, I mean the PRESIDENT: Sorority house royalty… Could be tough your first time out, but some of the bosses of the sorostitutes play games involving hooking up with desperate freshmen and virgins.

NOTE: BRING YOUR A-GAME

Word of a sub par performance spreads throughout a sorority house faster than crabs. To keep your reputation intact, you might wanna start with one of the nastier houses on campus. For insurance purposes make sure the foreplay is lengthy and fruitful. Eat em’ for twenty then you could fuck em’ for two… That’s how you get the stud status. And don’t forget to choke her.

 

My humorous, erotic, autobiographical novel “The Wingman Chronicles” is now available on Amazon. Check out description, customer reviews and a free sample right here.

My filthy novel The Wingman Chronicles

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BALLS: THE KEY TO PUSSY

Innocent guys stand around the bar arms crossed and fidgety as they look on in utter awe at the tight asses and pert breasts of bootie shaking, whored-up, wannabe socialites.

The creeping impaired look on as vultures swarm these vixens, showering them in a sea of attention that they eat up like a bulimic stripper at a Chinese buffet with a puke bucket.

Knowing there’s no way they’ll ever exchange words with the club-light enhanced enchantresses, the wallflowers instead clamor to a glimmer of hope that they might graze a breast or an ass cheek when one swaggers by.

As the night comes to an end, the awkward and unconfident observers go home alone to pleasure themselves with thoughts of the unattainable sensually grinding to Flo Rida. Sometimes they’re so apprehensive that their sexual fantasies turn into porn films where they themselves aren’t even starring, but instead they conjure the image of the Affliction-clad toolboxes they saw cling to the ladies at the club.

This all could have been averted if they just made a fucking move. Girls love a guy with balls. That’s kind of hard to find these days so if you could at the very least fake like you have some, a girl who’s drunk and impressionable could buy it and you might be lucky enough to get her on her knees. The girls have done it before, why wouldn’t they do it again?

Introduce yourself, but then play it cool. Don’t cling to her like she’s your favorite jerkoff pillow. Make her wonder about you. Don’t fix your eyes on her tits, ass, or belly ring… Look her in the eye. The reason being that it’ll make her nervous, and therefore set you apart from the rest of the lecherous scavengers that have been questing after her.

Suddenly she’ll be wondering:

         “Why isn’t he looking at my boobs, why isn’t he looking at my ass, I’m dressed like a whore can’t he see that? Oh god, I look like shit. Excuse me while I go throw up.”

If you make a move and a broad thinks you’re an asshole and finds you annoying, she’ll still have more respect for you – the guy who takes a shot – than the pussy who stands in the corner all night with the dudes like he’s at a junior high dance. Remember, just because you are a pussy, doesn’t mean you’re getting pussy. It doesn’t matter that the broads have bisexual tendencies.

Groups of guys constantly spend their boy’s night out cockblocking themselves with worry.

      What do I say to her?

      What if she doesn’t like me?

      How do I ask her out?

      When do I kiss her?

      How do I make a move to go further?

      When do I stick my dick in her?

      Is it okay to come on her face?

      When’s the right time to stick it in her ass?

      How do I know if it’s okay to ask for a threesome?

      When is the right time to pee on her?

      Would she think it was weird if I asked her to fuck me in the ass with a strap-on?

 

There’s an endless stream of questions guys are constantly contemplating which simply get in the way of buying a girl a drink, ripping her clothes off, and fucking the shit out of her. It’s simply that easy. Just try to be safe, girls could be dirty.

 

      My humorous, erotic, autobiographical novel “The Wingman Chronicles” is now available on Amazon. Check out description, customer reviews and a free sample right here.

My filthy novel The Wingman Chronicles