Halloween: A Time for Whoring

Halloween is a night when even the most conservative broads go out with plans to live out their prostitution fantasies.

How many innocent girls do you know – teachers, pharmacists, librarians – who transform themselves into lingerie clad playmates? Witches, devils, cops – the costume doesn’t matter, in their heads they’re a whore for Halloween. Even (supposedly) upstanding young women see it as a time of year where bad decisions are almost acceptable, in fact, expected. I brought on a Wingwoman for this piece to provide us a female perspective on this creepin’ holiday.

“Halloween has turned into an excuse for girls to dress and act like trash and get away with it,” said 27-year-old Tara. “Not that I’m completely against it, or a hypocrite. If you got it flaunt it, but if not please for the love of God be a ghost, throw on a sheet and get shitty!”

Pick a costume that will start a convo.

The first step toward getting laid is always initiating contact, so the role you’re playing should make the ladies inquire about your costume, compliment you and want to get a picture. I typically alternate ensembles throughout the night so I could have public displays of horniness with multiple girls at the same party.

“Girls like funny costumes definitely, but not cheesy,” Tara said. “Costumes that bring attention, but not in a bad way.”

Treat her like a coworker, not a stripper.

  As scantily clad vixens gyrate as if they’re working for tips, they obviously want you to eye their breasts, asses and legs. Don’t do it. It gives them control. Make solid eye contact as they stand before you in their stripper-wear, scouring the room for a greased up pole. You want to talk the same way you would if they were standing on the street sporting jeans, or a business suit.

“Look her in the eye, have a normal conversation and then subtly compliment her saying something like, ‘I like your costume, you play the part well, but with class’,” Tara said. “Even if she really doesn’t, it’s a sure way to get her in the sack.”

Make fun of others as a means of creepin’.

When nasty ass behemoths roam the range, busting open the strained seams of their safety-pin-fastened costumes, it could make for fantastic flirting fodder. I’ve often bonded with babes as we laughed at the sloppy spectacles in the room. It was like therapy. There have even been situations where a floozy in the most whorish attire and I connected as we spoke of how slutty someone else in the room was dressed.

“Make sure they don’t know each other first,” Tara warned. “You have to get a read on the girl. If she throws a dirty look, or initiates the name calling definitely go for it.”

Don’t ignore the girls who are dressed only moderately scandalous, or even conservative.

The high-class hos of the party are often the most naturally beautiful women in the room so they refuse to tarnish their reputation by competing against a gaggle of common trollops. Still, it’s a creepin’ holiday and alcohol is involved, so they’re still down to fuck. They just require better game.

My filthy novel The Wingman Chronicles available in E-book & paperback on Amazon.

The Wingman Chronicles on Amazon UK!

Win A Signed Copy of My Book With Your Slutty Halloween Costume!

Dirty girls from all over the world have been saying they want a signed copy of The Wingman Chronicles, and now you have a chance to win one! Ladies, it’s time for Halloween weekend — a time for whoring — so I’m going to run a costume contest.

Ladies only! Sorry guys, but do you really want to look at a dude in a Halloween costume?

Since you girls will be parading around in your scandalous Halloween attire and partying hard through the weekend of creepin’, and keeping it going strong through Halloween week, you have till Wednesday, October 31 to enter. All you have to do is email a picture of yourself in your hot & slutty Halloween costume to wingmanfans@gmail.com anytime through Halloween — Wednesday, October 31 midnight.

I will judge on three criteria… Sluttiness, the feeling it gives my cock, and most importantly fan feedback. I’m very busy (aka stupid when it comes to technology) so I don’t have time to setup a vote system etc. for this but I will tweet all of the pics and ask for fan feedback and incorporate that into my vote.

Since you’ll all be out partying, getting laid, and possibly passed out somewhere on Halloween night I’ll announce the winner Thursday, November 1st at 9 p.m. I’ll contact you for your address, and send your FREE signed copy right out to you!

NOTE:

If you have a separate costume that you wear when you take your kids out than you use while you’re out looking to fuck, go with the pic of the latter.

The key word isn’t tasteful.

I’m going to be tweeting and posting the pics on Facebook and Twitter, so look your best.

The winner will be on my twitter (www.twitter.com/wingmanbiz) & facebook pages (www.facebook.com/jamesholeva & facebook.com/letsgetcreepin) Thursday, November 1st at 9 p.m. eastern.

Good luck! Can’t wait to see your slutty Halloween costumes. I know you won’t let me down!

If you haven’t read “The Wingman Chronicles” check out a free sample on Amazon!

#SorryFeminists The Wingman is Back on Twitter!

Angry, desert-crotched, feminist cunts attempted to get me banned from Twitter, but I’m back, and ready to be filthier than ever. Why you ask? Because I care about my fans!

First off I’d like to thank all of my filthy fans who tweeted at me, as well as reaching out to me via Facebook comments, messages and emails since my twitter was suspended on Thursday afternoon. It meant so much to me to know that I’m not just a one night stand you throw out after I provide Earth-shattering multiple orgasms, but we’re in a serious and downright dirty relationship.

I’ve certainly never been committed to one woman the way I am to entertaining my fans all over the world.

I’m sorry I wasn’t around the past few days to keep you entertained, provide advice, and sexually harass my female fans—I know you love that—but although I’d been a bit ill I was taking the time to work simultaneously on two books… One, the much-anticipated sequel to “The Wingman Chronicles,” and the other a novel k that is something different but, nevertheless sick and hilarious. You will hear more about that other uncouth project soon.

Judging by the many messages and comments I’ve received, many of you wanted to know why I was suspended, or put in what some refer to as “Twitter Jail.” The answer is: The Feminists.

Often times I use a trending topic, a hashtag (#) phrase and tweet a succession of jokes, many of them raunchy and offensive, which seem to go over well with my legion of amazing, filthy, followers. Last Tuesday, October 9th, I tweeted a multitude of jokes using the trending #sorryfeminists hashtag, which prompted many feminists to tweet their outrage toward me. My fans, however, quickly jumped to the defense of me, my jokes, and my book and tweeted right back at the angry, desert-crotched, feminist cunts.

Well the feminist haters, who weren’t even followers of mine but were somehow stalking my @wingmanbiz twitter account (probably hoping I would bring irrigation to their desert crotches) took things a step further and contacted twitter requesting I be suspended for my offensive tweets. Twitter immediately suspended my account and took a look at the case the feminists plead only to come to the conclusion that I’d done nothing against twitter rules, and they must reinstate my @wingmanbiz account.

So I’m back, and ready for creepin’. If you really wanna get back at the feminist cunts who kept you from my tweets for five days, let’s make my book “The Wingman Chronicles” a bestseller, and get it picked up as a TV series!

Let’s keep me blowing up so I could tour to every one of your cities for X-rated standup shows, book signings, breast signings, and ass signings, too. No cocks please.

Thanks for the support! I certainly have the greatest, most supportive, and filthiest fans in the world!

Always your Wingman,

James Holeva

My filthy novel The Wingman Chronicles available in E-book & paperback on Amazon

In the UK get The Wingman Chronicles right here!