We laid together in our underwear, our crotches resting against each other, as we lightly kissed and enjoyed the moment.
“Oh, oh, oh… I just came!” she exclaimed.
“Really?” I asked. “I barely touched you.”
“Yep… I’ve gotta clean up,” she proclaimed as she broke for the bathroom.
“Seriously, I barely touched you. How did that happen?” I reiterated.
“I guess you have a gift,” she said.
This made me wonder how I’d made this girl cum when I barely even gyrated against her. You hear about guys who pop double doses of Viagra and Cialis and still fail at getting a woman off, and I had barely touched this broad.
To say I felt accomplished would be an understatement. It was at that moment I realized that although I lacked vocal and instrumental talents, I was a rock star. As I thought more about it, I figured out a woman’s orgasm isn’t physical, it’s mental.
The girl had been so lost in that connection, the romance of the moment, what I was saying and how I was saying it that her sex juices couldn’t help but come pouring out as if somebody pulled the fire alarm and a multitude of sprinklers erupted.
She wanted to have sex, and we had had sex, but she wanted to wait a few days to do it again to concentrate on us really getting to know each other. I can’t say I was thrilled by these revelations, but I really liked this girl. Apparently, she really liked me too. The pussy doesn’t lie.
Girls are always complaining about sex: “He doesn’t get me off, he doesn’t care about my needs, I don’t like the way he prods my body.”
And the problem is that guys–both geniuses and Neanderthals–many of them don’t realize that a woman’s orgasm isn’t physical.
Foreplay doesn’t begin in the bedroom, backseat, or bathroom stall, It doesn’t start during your classy dinner at McDonald’s, Wendy’s, or Taco Bell. It ignites with the flirty banter when you’re texting, emailing, and talking on the phone.
When you’ve got this aura about you that the broad’s digging, then you tell her she’s beautiful and sexy, smart and cool, kind and sweet – you lie from the heart.
(Maybe you even find a girl where those things are true. That’s even more fun.)
If you’ve said the right things and made a connection in a text message, then did the same thing while you’re looking into her eyes… she’s ready to ruin her panties and make a stain on the floor. Let’s hope a custodian’s on duty.
These days I meet a lot of broads on the world wide creep engine–I mean Facebook… And if that’s the case I strive to have a girl get off to me a minimum of five times before we’ve even met.
However, I’m pretty hot and good with words so that kind of puts me at an advantage. Also, my sexy photos are real, If that’s not the case with you, she may be disappointed when you guys finally meet up in person. No offense.
Parking the car
When a girl’s gonna let you park the car in the garage whether you’re driving an Escalade or a Ford Pinto, you wanna be intense, passionate, and aggressive… But you don’t wanna rush things.
It’s like when a guy watches porno he just wants to see hardcore penetration… But a girl likes old school porn with a story. She wants you to be the pizza boy that sweeps her off her feet and peers into her soul… Then fucks her doggy style.
Creating a mood is very important to a lady.
I’ll liken it to masturbation. Guys when we jack off, we’ll rub it out – bing, bang, boom – towel off, pull up are pants, we’re ready to make business transactions.
But girls, they go all out… They dim the lights, draw a bath, have black market apparatus flown in from third world countries.
Women respect the ambiance, and you must too if you’re gonna please them.
Guys think about your wives, girlfriends, exes… Okay, I bet they spend more time in the bathroom getting ready to go to bed than you’d spend putting yourself together for a night on the town.
No they weren’t doing bodily things. Well, maybe they were. I don’t know what they had for dinner.
But what they were really doing is their pre-sleep preparation… Like guys, I know myself, I fall asleep anywhere… In my clothes, my contacts, my jacket… I just pass out. But a woman is primped for a ball before she climbs into bed.
It’s different if they’re a drunk or a drug addict, but we’re not all lucky enough to date Hollywood socialites.
So when a broad’s opening her legs, she wants you to take your time and enjoy the adventure… Not just jerk off inside her like her vagina’s a hole in the couch.
Whether it’s true or false, a girl just wants you to make her feel pretty, make her think she counts, and make know you care. Whether it’s a bathroom stall bang and bye, or a long term prison sentence, you connect with her mind, and you will ignite her vagina.
Obviously there are exceptions.
“I can’t cum”
Certain girls you’ll find will insist they can’t have an orgasm.
“I don’t like foreplay, I’ve never given a blowjob, I don’t like having lots of sex, I don’t like oral, don’t touch my boobs, my vagina doesn’t cum.”
If she says that, you know what that means? And this is based on highly researched and analyzed scientific data.
She’s a cunt.
She “can’t” have an orgasm because she believes she “can’t” have an orgasm. She’s a pessimistic bitch who can’t allow herself to enjoy what is there for her to enjoy; or she’s a control freak who won’t sacrifice any of her power for a few minutes of pleasure.
If that’s your girl, end it now. You deserve better. You deserve a dirty whore who likes to fuck and cums like a desperate house wife taking advantage of her teenage daughter’s boyfriend. (I know from my own teen years.)
Anyway, miss desert crotch is never going to be happy, and if you waste time caring about the drought, the lack of hydration’s just gonna ruin your summer.
If you think “I can’t cum,” you won’t cum. I believe in the sexual secret.
Women like that shouldn’t even be allowed out in public. Negativity breeds negativity. Before you know it all the fuck-ready sluts at the bar will suddenly put their vagina under lock and key.
And that would be catastrophic in this disgusting economy, where we need sex more than ever.
Ladies if you really want to help the economy, now’s the time to take off those clothes, open those legs, and whore it the fuck up.
If you enjoyed this piece you could read about me giving girls dirty mental orgasms in my filthy novel “The Wingman Chronicles” available on Amazon. Read a free sample, customer reviews and purchase right here.
My filthy novel The Wingman Chronicles
If you’re in the UK it’s available right here.
THE WINGMAN CHRONICLES 