CREEPIN’ AT THE HOSPITAL

Sadly, no matter how good your coverage, under the current administration insurance companies refuse to offer sex workers as part of your health care package.
I don’t believe it myself, but despite my charming bravado I lack the political clout to make a difference. So it’s up to you.
If you’re laid up in a hospital, and you want the best treatment, it’s your responsibility to fight for it.
There’s nothing that will cure a man’s illness, or injury, and the mental anguish that accompanies, more than an ejaculation induced by someone other than himself. Personally, I think that should be in a nurse’s job description. They’re emptying your bed pan, why can’t they blow you, or at least administer a hand job?

She could wear a rubber glove if it’ll make her feel better.
I mean these nurses say they want to make a difference, here’s their chance. Even a good old fashioned wet dry hump will aid in your recovery.
Anyway, until nurse/whore becomes a combination occupation, the creeping is up to you and me.
Don’t be depressed. You’re in a perfect situation. Candy stripers, nurses, female doctors — anytime you’re in a spot where a girl is forced to talk to you and be nice to you, you’re in an excellent creepin’ position…
Especially when she has to be in a room alone with you. And you’re already wearing a backless gown and going commando… The progression to relations is perfectly natural. Granted the hospital personnel probably aren’t drunk while they’re working, but I think you could play the sympathy card for an easy piece of ass.
If it’s a girl with a heart (yes, some of them have one) you could coax her with your own sadness and get some pussy outta pity. Good times. Maybe one of the girls tending to you has a chemical dependency, and you could give her some of your morphine drip.
Hey, if you were in a bar wouldn’t you buy a girl a drink? It’s the same thing — hospital creepin’ currency.
Maybe you could even fake an injury, and make your move in the sponge bath. That brings back memories. No, it’s cool. I like going to the hospital. My Dad sells accident insurance so I make out pretty good.
You need to pinpoint which of the girls you’re coming in contact with are the most empathetic, because your game won’t work on a cold, hard bitch. If it’s a miserable ice queen, you could often bond with her by making fun of pathetic patients or hospital workers. She’ll like that.
You have to read the situation before you call the play, but I’ve bonded with many broads, in all venues, by creating laughs at the expense of others.
It can be a very effective technique. Girls who enjoy making themselves feel better by cutting others down behind their back is something that begins in the crib, but never ends.
So, if you’re creeping impaired and have good insurance, just fake your way into a hospital. Getting girls to talk to you won’t be hard because they don’t have a choice. Like I said, my father sells accident insurance. Hit me up, and I’ll hook you up. You won’t find many authors who look out for their readers like I do.

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2 Comments

  1. As an actual nurse/whore I’m both amused and insulted by your post. Mostly amused. You’re an optimist if nothing else.

  2. I am a nurse. I am thoroughly shocked that you would write something like this. I did not spend 3 years at university or spend $15,000 on a degree to be propositioned at a professional job. Getting someone(i.e. patient) off at work is so low down on the list of job related skills. If i wanted to do that or attract that i would shake me skinny ass on the nearest corner.
    James you have sunk to a new low on this one. I loved your book and the other blogs, but this is just too low a blow. I may have just lost a little bit of respect for you and you filthy comedic act……. SO SAD!!!!


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