Saturday, June 25th 2011


Matt L.

1.   What is the minimum amount of money a guy should receive to suck another guy’s dick?

It depends on the guy’s skills. Just joking. I’m really not the guy to ask about such homoerotic questions. If that’s your thing, Matt, that’s cool… But you’re better off finding pricing information from a man who you know, enjoys or at least, is willing to suck cock.

2.   When is it inappropriate to laugh during sex?

When you’re complimenting a girl. It’s kind of a give away that you’re lying from the heart.

3.   Is that the right hole?

If it feels good it’s always the right hole.



How do you feel about frontal male nudity?

I don’t like to see it, but I like to show it.



What are your feelings on a rusty trombone?

I’m not a fan of anything to do with my ass… And I don’t eat ass.


Blowme aka your Mom

Is it okay to give your Mom and Dad pointers after you walk in on them?

Of course. I think that would be a nice thing to do. Let’s face it Mom and Dad probably aren’t with the young trends. If you could provide a tip or two I’m sure your parents would be very grateful. My parents ask me into the bedroom with them, and I’m always glad to help. I appreciate family.



1.   What is the best cleaning product to get semen out of fur?

Tara… I think that fur is gone. Next time you’re meeting a stuff. Where a cheap imitation or at least cover yourself with a cum poncho. I always keep a bag nearby with rain gear for these situations.

2.   If a vagina isn’t used, will it seal up and close?

I’ve convinced girls that it would, and used that to get them into bed. It was creative marketing. But honestly, I’m going to have to go with no. Although it will turn into a dried out cactus crotch which is basically the same thing.


B. At what point in a relationship do you share a copy of a house key?

Haven’t you been listening? Never.  That’s like inviting a vampire into your house… But worse. Vampires are less crazy than some girls. Read my crazy bitches piece.


Do women have a fourth hole?

Yes… As well as fifth, sixth, seventh, and possibly eighth… Ears, nostrils, belly button if it’s an innie. Heroin whores have way more.



Is it appropriate to grab somebody by the ass in the grocery store?

Of course… It’s a great way to say hello. More people should do it. And if it leads to sex, stay out of the frozen food section because you might not be able to get it up. And if it leads to jailtime, there’s bound to be casualties of war.



How do you get your man to shave his balls without hurting his poor little feelings?

Get him drunk, and when he’s passed out shave his balls in his sleep. If you want to be more up front, just stop blowing him until he manscapes.



As a guy would you rather date a woman with a 7 face and 10 body, or a 10 face and 7 body?

Either way 7 to 10 are solid scores in face or body. Personally, I’d rather date a girl with a 10 face and 7 body, because the face would be shown off. I’d rather bang a girl with a 10 face and 7 body because fucking has very little to do with the face.



What’s the proper way to perform the Cleveland Steamer?

Not to… Unless you’re looking for a good way to breakup, get revenge, or keep a crazy ex away. Unless they’re really fucked up, shitting on them in any way, shape or form should do the trick.



What is a dirty sanchez?

A sex act that has become cliché… But it’s not my style. Read Urban Dictionary you dirty motherfucker.


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