CREEPIN’ W/ THE WINGMAN — SHAKERS BAR & GRILL — HAZLETON, PA

 (formerly Shenanigan’s)

Friday, June 10th 2011

 

Scott K.

How do you get laid in Hazleton?

Same way you get laid anywhere else… Lies, mind games, and money… And don’t forget alcohol – it’s a weapon of mass creepin’.

 

Matthew K.

How do you let a girl know she smells respectfully?

You’d think you’d be doing her a favor by telling her “your cunt smells like a porta john,” but sadly, she might not see it that way. If she’s hot or the best you could get (be honest) just stay away from oral, and if she’s nasty anyway… Then tell her the truth and see what happens. If she’s cool and cleans up, yippee, if not, you’ll be doing yourself a favor and dropping the nasty bitch.

Really some women need better hygiene. Don’t they have any respect for themselves?

 

Ava

Is it okay for a guy to have a wingwoman?

Of course… I’ve used them many times. I’ve used a bisexual wingwoman, and even conned my sister into being my wingwoman. Check out these blog entries.

 

Anonymous

How do I get you in bed?

Well I hope this question is from a girl… If you indeed are a girl and you’re hot, just come to a show, introduce yourself, drop to your knees, and get to work. If you’re on the less attractive side… Just wait for last call and corner me in the bathroom.

 

Eric

What do you do when you go down on a girl and she smells?

Put a close pin on your nose… Or wait till you have a cold and can’t taste anything. While it sucks to have a cold and be at the Chinese buffet, it’s great when a dirty whore invites you to dinner in her personal porta-john.

 

Lana

How do I use my pussy to control a man?

With-hold.

See my Pussy Power blog entry: https://wingmanchronicles.wordpress.com/2011/03/30/pussy-power/

 

HDB

How do I get laid?

Hire me… And walk up to a girl, use confidence, swagger, and hype to get her into bed. The key is, don’t give a fuck about what happens. Just enjoy yourself, and take as many swings as possible. You need to swing the bat if you’re gonna hit a home run.

 

Anonymous

What’s the difference between a fuck buddy and a friend with benefit?

A fuck buddy is only used for fucking… Although sucking, touching, and rubbing are allowed… But talking is strictly forbidden… Unless it’s dirty.

A friend with benefits is a genuine friend that you care about, enjoy spending time with, and have fun fucking… A fuck buddy situation works best when you detest the person but they get you off, and get the fuck out.

 

Lou Skunt

Do midget strippers charge half price?

Not as often as you’d think. In really low-end shitholes, in this economy, sometimes they’ll do a two-for one… I know, it sucks. But it’s not like we have to pay double for amazonian strippers.

 

Dawn

Why is it that when a couple is in a relationship the guy is allowed to “flirt,” and the girl is not?

There’s a double standard and guy’s love to flirt but are even more jealous and clingy than girls are. Don’t allow the double standard. If your boy is gonna chat up every broad he sees, you do the same with every guy… If you’d like, I’ll even help you make him jealous.

And if you send a picture I approve of, and need a change of pace, I’d have no problem providing you an uncouth adventure.

 

Tinawina

If you rape a prostitute, is it considered shop lifting?

It is… The price of the pussy dictates the penalty. It’s a misdemeanor if it’s under $300… High class hos fall under felony grand larceny.

 

Justin H.

If you give the hooker an extra $5, will she really put her finger in your butt?

It depends on the girl. I had a friend who couldn’t convince a hooker to slip him a finger. He said one finger, what’s the difference? She had standards. She was a whore with standards.

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