A guide to handling crazy bitches


I like crazy bitches — girls who are fucking nuts. Psychos, stalkers, convicted felons — oh, that’s what I look for. Give me a girl who belongs in an institution and I let my guard down, and give her my heart.

Crazy bitches are like cocaine. They’re sexy, exciting, they make your heart race, they’ll let you take them in the bathroom, when they’re gone you want more, when you wake up you’re depressed, and they ultimately put you in the hospital. I know, Charlie Sheen told me.

Only difference between cocaine and crazy bitches, is crazy bitches don’t make your dick small. Which is why my addiction is crazy bitches. When it came the time in my life to choose an addiction it was like crazy bitches are legal, but far more hazardous to your health, but they make your dick big and hard. And coke is exciting and dangerous, but makes your dick small and flaccid.

Hmm… I’m gonna go with crazy bitches. That decision was easier than picking which crazy bitch to bang on a given day.

Do I want blonde, brunette… Big tits, small tits… Her to drug my drink, or stab me? If she drugs my drink the death is easy and painless, where as if she tries to stab me I have a good chance of fighting her off, and I’d get a good workout in too. Some people do yoga, others box or do martial arts… I fight for my life, every day, against beautiful women.


Look for “The Wingman Chronicles” hitting book stores in next year to read the rest of the story!


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