Charlie Sheen Talks to Kindergarten Class Teaser

By James Holeva

CHARLIE: PART 2 (Sequel to Charlie Sheen: Motivational Speaker)

I don’t know if you noticed but Charlie Sheen has been in the media a lot lately. Being that I have yet to see a comedian, talk show host, columnist, blogger,  or even a person talking with their friends provide commentary on Charlie, I felt it was my duty to be the one to break the ice.

I did so with a blog entry I posted on Saturday entitled: “Charlie Sheen: Motivational Speaker.”

I mentioned that due to the man’s intense initiative, if the acting doesn’t work out Charlie should speak to school children, in an effort to motivate them to be a bit more “winning.” A lot of people shared with me how boring they remember their school assemblies being, but if the man with tiger blood and Adonis DNA walked in they most certainly would have perked up, listened and adhered to his advice. After all, he is a Warlock.

Here is an excerpt of a motivational speech Charlie Sheen would provide to a kindergarten class.

CHARLIE: “Children a lot of you are obviously trolls and clowns, but I’m here to expose you to magic and provide you with a performance enhancing drug called Charlie Sheen. While I have tiger blood and Adonis DNA, you have rabbit blood and Snooki DNA.

I fucked Snooki by the way. She didn’t want any money, but I felt better paying.

Look for “The Wingman Chronicles” hitting book stores in next year to read the rest of the story!



  1. Oh yes, I would for sure Duh… winning CS popped and gave my kindergarten class this motivation speech. If I had only known about the drug called Charlie Sheen sooner, my whole life could have turned out so differently. Great, hilarious post. If this doesn’t end up on funnyordie with Charlie Sheen actually reading it, it will be huge loss for all. Greatness, Wingman, greatness! Ok, enough of this, I have to get back to banging 7 gram rocks yo!

    • Bravo Wingman! You are true comical intellect! I can only hope that the Torpedo of truth tour follows this scenario!

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