Thanks Weakender!

 My Free Publicity Acceptance Speech


   Although I was unaware of it, I have been receiving a great deal of free publicity, and I couldn’t be more honored. 

   A blog called was brought to my attention Monday night. Apparently, this blog has been kind enough to give me free publicity related to the column I wrote for Northeastern Pa. arts and entertainment weekly The Weekender from September 2009 through March 2010.

    It seems the purpose of this blog, which is operated by a fella who calls himself Head Rantketeer , is to criticize everything about The Weekender. Since launching in October, Mr. Rantketeer has been mentioning my former column “The Wingman Chronicles,” but as I am not terribly web savvy I just saw this for the first time last night when a friend sent it to me.

    The blogger was kind enough to include the following in his writing.

   “A couple months ago, the Weekender was home to a column called The Wingman Chronicles. It was, if I can be polite, the most vile piece of garbage ever to be put to newsprint. It was a sexist, misogynistic story of a 30-something man who tries to get other men laid by sharing details of his sexual exploits. Stories included him having sex with a woman in a pool of another man’s semen and committing statutory rape with a underage girl he took across state lines into New York City. I am not making these stories up. These were actually published in the Weekender. It was meant to be a humor column, but it was actually sickeningly repulsive.

   “Then, suddenly, almost out of the blue, The Wingman Chronicles was gone. It disappeared without notice and without a trace. That second one was literal as all mention of the column was removed from even the Weekender’s website. It was a thermonuclear attack on the Wingman, and not a speck of him was left.
   “I took this as a positive sign for the Weekender. Sure, they did publish the Wingman’s column, one that was horrible both in terms of content and how the content was delivered. But they eventually came to their senses, realized that the column had no redeeming value either as humor or as entertainment, and then got rid of it.”

   Mr. Rantketeer also was nice enough to include:

   “It appears that the rampant misogyny, pig-headedness, and down right lack of humor of the Wingman was not the issue with his dismissal.”

   And of course, the very complimentary: 

   “I can’t believe I am going to complement the Wingman, but his stories had a beginning, a middle and an end. And everything he put in the story — for the most part — served to move the plot along.”

   This blogger even asked if anyone knew the drama surrounding my sudden dismissal, to please email him.

    I am personally honored my column still has such an impact. I’ve been busy with other projects and promotion, not to mention all the creepin’, but my column has been absent from The Weekender for almost a full year. I have so many people I’d like to thank.

  Of course, Michael Lello, the former Weekender editor, who gave me the opportunity to write this irreverent column. He did an excellent job editing my work, and allowed me to be as truthful and raw as the paper could allow. His leaving The Weekender is a major loss for the paper.

   Of course, my friend Ralphie Aversa of 97 BHT, who gave me more than two years of publicity via a weekly segment called Wingman Wednesday that aired weekly on his Ralphie Radio Show.

   And I cannot forget the Times Leader publishers, whose names I’m not aware of, but were kind enough to go out of their way to suddenly banish my popular column from the paper on my birthday… Even going as far as to not only discontinue the column, but to immediately remove all of my archives from the website. Thank you so much.

   I appreciate that. Apparently, it increased the Wingman hype dramatically, and I didn’t even have to do any work. Nice!

   As for the Weakender blog and its operator Mr. Head Rantketeer, please continue exactly what you’re doing. Anybody who knows me knows having a career that first began as a standup comedian while I was still in high school; I enjoy a good roast… From the old school Dean Martin roasts, to the raunchy Friar’s Club and Comedy Central roasts of today. We only roast the ones we love, so thanks again!

   I know I’ve truly made it now… This is almost as good as tabloid allegations of homosexuality. I’m gracious to anyone who’s kind enough to provide me with such excellent publicity, free of charge.

   Oh, because I want the best for your site, I just wanted to say first off… Although I do go by The Wingman and the column was called The Wingman Chronicles… It is not a secret alias, it’s a brand. Every piece I wrote for The Weekender, which includes the column as well as various features, were credited to my birth name James Holeva.

   And while I continue to utilize The Wingman brand, on radio appearances, personal appearances, anywhere I appear, as well as using it when I write material that fits the brand…  I am always billed as “The Wingman James Holeva.”

    Second, you had said in your blog that I was in my thirties, I’m actually 27 and was 26 when I wrote for The Weekender. The column last published on March 10, 2010, which was my twenty-seventh birthday.

   Third, the piece that you’re referencing where you said I snuck an underage girl over state lines to New York to commit statutory rape never ran in The Weekender. It is a short story I wrote more than a year before the column launched, and while I am immensely proud of the way I wrote it and the creepin’ itself, it would’ve been deemed too offensive to print in The Weekender. However, you’ll be able to find it in my book, The Wingman Chronicles, a memoir which is currently in the works.

   Also, if you take another look at the piece you’ll realize the sixteen year old I hooked up with I met while I was in New York City… I had actually gone to New York for a wedding with an adult woman from Pennsylvania. The minor was hanging out at the hotel after her prom. We had a great time. That story and all my Weekender Wingman Chronicles Archives are available on my blog…

   And for future reference, sneaking a minor across state lines from Pennsylvania to New York would make no sense because last I checked the age of consent in Pennsylvania is sixteen years old, while it remains seventeen in New York.

   Of course, I have snuck underage girls from New York to Pennsylvania, but not the other way around. Again, you’ll be able to read about these shenanigans in my book.

   (Disclaimer: Having sex with a minor is completely legal provided they have reached the age of consent, and it is consensual sex without money changing hands. As long as the adult isn’t acting as a pimp, or john… Isn’t videotaping, or photographing nude or explicit images… Isn’t seen as an authority figure — a teacher, coach, babysitter. And isn’t providing drugs, alcohol, nicotine, or firearms, he or she is certainly within their legal rights to enjoy the uncouth adventure.)

   Again, I’m just trying to make sure that your reporting is accurate so you could make the Weakender blog as truthful and honorable as I’m sure you aspire for it to be.

   By the way, if you’d like to give my television pilot “The Wingman” any free publicity, I’d be very appreciative. Here’s the trailer.

   I hope you’ll come out to see me do standup sometime, and if you feel you’d like to give me even more publicity, I’d be much obliged to your good will.

   I also must address that I noticed in the comments section somebody accused me of writing The Weakender Blog. While I am now a fan, I am not involved in any way, and just found out about it myself Monday night.

    Here’s what the ANONYMOUS comment entailed:

   “Wow, WINGMAN. Referencing Sorry Mom and Dad and Justin Brown just proves you are bitter that someone got a column after you. Such a bitterness that as soon as his column starts, you start this blog. Well it was time for the WINGMAN to make room for the MAIN MAN. Deal with it.”

   Whatever anonymous person wrote that comment obviously doesn’t know me, because:

   A: I would never spend any time writing, creating, or performing anything without taking credit for it by name, because I love attention.

   And B: I am awful with any type of technology, and anything computer or web related , and I wouldn’t be able to figure out how to create a blog that looks as good as

   The blogger responded with:

   “So, you think I’m the Wingman!?!?! Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Listen, I know you hate the blog, but there’s no need to get insulting.

For the record, I am NOT the Wingman. And the thought of that makes me want to take a shower. The Wingman is/was just as bad as Justin is. On subject matter, he was far worse. Justin, as of yet, has not written about having sex in a pool of another man’s semen or taking an underage girl across state lines to have sex with her. So Justin, while repulsive and disgusting in topics, has a ways to go to match Wingman. However, from a technical standpoint, the Wingman is a better writer than Justin. Which isn’t saying much, because a monkey hammering away at a type would write better than Justin.

So, it pretty much is a wash between the two. Both are self-promoting, misogynistic yahoos who have no business being in an arts and entertainment weekly. Because neither is as funny or as entertaining as they think they are.

   But hey, since you are such a fan of Justin, god know why, maybe you can peruse the other posts. I talk about him in just about each an every one.spread the comment love around!

And thanks for reading!”

    All I could say is thank you again for continuing to reference me almost a year after my column last ran in The Weekender. And I think it’s great that you provide a link for author  Brandon Halsey… He’s a good friend of mine, and a terrific writer, who I always enjoy reading.

   Check him out, buy his book, and enter his world!

   Oh, since you’ve been following my work for so long, if you’d like to check out the writing of another Holeva, here’s my sister Jessie Holeva’s fashion blog

   She, too, is a fan of your blog and would appreciate any free publicity you’d like to throw her way. Good luck!

   Thank You,

   James Holeva


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