Critiquing “Jersey Shore’s” Guidos

  Although they’ll be the first to tell you how phenomenal their game is; if anybody needs a wingman I think we could all agree it’s the obnoxious, fist-pumping, cliché “guidos” of the latest MTV reality show craze “Jersey Shore.”

   Here’s a creeping critique of the guidos we’ve been laughing at. I also sought a ‘wingwoman’s perspective’ via Lisa Micheletti, 23, of Plains, who attends college in New Jersey, and was initially approached to audition for the show.

   “I’m sure they’ve only got girls because they have a camera following them,” Lisa pointed out. “Well the girls were nasty anyways.”

MIKE “THE SITUATION”

When you have so many stereotypes working against you, you cease to be a three-dimensional human being and ultimately become a cartoon character.

Strengths: Confidence, cooking skills, muscles. He’s the one viewers quote and his style of standing out should easily lead to the most pussy outside the show, as well as D-list career opportunities.

Weaknesses: Refers to himself in the third person, and women see him as an obnoxious court jester with abs. 

Advice: Resist the urge to be too much, and show a little of the human quality he displayed with that tease Sammi the “so called” Sweetheart.

Wingwoman’s perspective: “He markets himself way too much. I think it gets attention, but I don’t know it’s any more than that.”

DJ PAULY D

Although farcical in his moments with the camera, the most cliché of them all actually comes off the most real when he’s in the presence of ladies.

Strengths: Confidence, swagger, club skills.

Weaknesses: Lip-glossed look could illicit laughs.

Advice: Tone down the metro-guido appearance.

WW: “Although he looks ridiculous, plenty of people look like that at New Jersey clubs. So I think his confidence will work in some situations.”

RONNIE

He may look like he’s put more needles into his ass than the heart of most batting orders, but since he hooked up with Sammi, he’s the only one in the Jersey Shore house with a consistent slam-piece.

Strengths:  Although he’ll never let his chest down (or put his shirt on) he could actually act like a human in the presence of ladies.

Weaknesses: He comes in for a makeout like a defensive end sacking a quarterback, and somebody could get hurt.

Advice: Lay off the roids, gain a sense of humor, and resist the relationship urge.

WW: “Ronnie’s got the right idea. I think he has it made for the time that he will be there, because he’ll always have a girl to hook up with rather than going out and having to find one.”

VINNY

He’d be the straw that stirs the cocktail if he would get past his insecurity.

Strengths: The dance floor. He tears it up with anybody and everything.

Weaknesses: Being the smallest guy in the house, he’s intimidated by the other guy’s muscles, and doesn’t have the confidence to initiate conversation with potential marks.

Advice: Approach girls with the poise he exhibits on the dance floor. He’s a nice, funny guy. The ladies need to know.

WW: “If he actually did approach a girl, he would seem more genuine and normal probably so that might work out for him.”

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1 Comment

  1. ;*, I am very thankful to this topic because it really gives useful information `-:


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